Filed Under:  U.S. & World

Alien Optometrist Indicted for Tax Fraud

Contributed by on January 17, 2015 at 11:58 am

Comedic OptometristShaker Heights, OH – Dexter Roebling, an optometrist based out of Shaker Heights, was indicted in a Cleveland court this week for tax evasion. Sources report Roebling had been accused of not paying over $300,000 in back taxes. In addition, an undisclosed amount was noted for embezzlement. He was charged with 2 counts of tax evasion, 3 for embezzlement, and 1 for counterfeiting money.


According to the Non-Associated Press, the optometrist would have been sentenced to nearly 30 years in prison. There’s another twist to the story. Sources indicate there are no birth records for the man, estimated to be about 40 to 45 years old. A simple miscommunication revealed his citizenship may have been in question, but when Embellished News sources phoned in, Roebling’s attorney revealed he is indeed not from this Earth.


Estimates found in a basement coordinate log put the man’s origins somewhere near Alpha Centuri. He has been in the Cleveland area for more than 20 years and has been practicing just as long. No complaint records have been found regarding the optometry practice.


Wendy Wilson Williams, a patient of Roebling’s, said, “I always said he was out of this world, but this is not something you hear every day. Unfortunately, we all have to pay our taxes. This really sucks!”


The optometrist’s whereabouts are currently unknown. Eyewitnesses reported seeing a beam of light the other night emanating from the location of his office. None of them were wearing glasses at the time.