Filed Under:  Humor & Satire

Super Bowl XIV Was Too Popular

Contributed by on February 6, 2015 at 7:49 am

Pepsi Official Soft Drink of Super Bowl

Pepsi Official Soft Drink of Super Bowl

February 6, 2015 – Sources in the sports word have reported the 114.4 million viewers of Super Bowl XIV were far too many for statisticians to handle. The number of suicides among this group jumped four-fold following Sunday’s game, the American Society of Statistics announced. In fact, the big game was the most watched TV show in the history of television.

 

In response the FCC has remanded most of the advertising for next year’s game. Funding for promotional materials has been cut anywhere between 24% and 52% according to the Non-Associated Press. There’s no word on whether this could impact the quality or coherency of commercials during the game.

 

Why was the game’s popularity too much? An anonymous watchdog agency said it simply interferes with a larger scale, undisclosed plan of an unknown nature.

 

Rumors are surfacing that Little Orphan Annie will perform at next year’s halftime show.